You must learn to communicate especially around those issues that can cause a conflict. You need to communicate about even the little things. 69% of issues in a marriage are ones that will never have a clear resolution only a compromise. .. so the art of negotiation, sacrifice, and compromise are a must. The key to dealing with these issues is coming up with a compromise in a positive way.
One of the biggest differences in having a successful marriage and one that ends in divorce is finding a way to work on conflict in a positive way. How do you handle conflict? Do you avoid it at all costs? Do you fight or argue your way out? Do you run, retreat or turn to someone else or something else to help you escape? In a marriage, you can’t run from your issues because they are always lying in wait for you, along with some new ones. Avoidance of conflict is just as bad as arguing your way through the conflict because nothing gets resolved. Whether you are the retreater or the fighter we have 7 tips for better communication:
- Set up appropriate boundaries that keep respect and love in the way you communicate.
- Gather yourself before you speak to make sure you can speak in love.
- Openly discuss the issue (one issue at a time).
- Take responsibility for your role in the issue, for what you’ve done or said and what you need to do to change.
- Listen to what your partner is being said and what is truly being asked of you. Often times the issue being discussed is just a surface issue and the real issue is below the surface.
- Develop a compromise along with a plan to implement what was discussed.
- Always follow up to make sure what was discussed is being followed through and what you asked for is what you’re getting.
If you can take the serious issues in a relationship that may have caused conflict and learn a new way to communicate the other everyday issues will be a cinch to deal with.
Stay tuned for the next edition in the series, we will talk about how you can give and receive love in a marriage where you get you needs met!