February 15, 2012

Before You Say I Do: The Truth About Marriage

We have gotten so many people requesting that we do more articles about marriage but for the single, dating or engaged person’s perspective. We have decided to do a series called Before You Say I Do. It will probably be a 6 part series that we will post each week to share with you some of the things that us married folks wished someone would have told us prior to getting married. We hope you know though that we will not sugar coat anything and will only speak the truth, thus the title of today’s post, The Truth About Marriage.

We have never believed in the fairytale that it seems that most people ascribe to…. at least most women anyway. So if you want to continue to live in the fairytale of what you think marriage is, stop here, but if you want the unadulterated truth, please continue to read.

Marriage has many good parts to it, but it takes work to get to that sweet spot where you have more good times than bad and where you understand each other enough to want to work to maintain that sweet spot. Because marriage consists of two people from two totally different worlds trying to combine their lives into one, there is a huge growth and learning curve that takes place and you have to ask yourself, are you ready for that. Many people say they want to get married, but are you really ready? Ask yourself the following questions to see if you are ready, if the majority are true then you are ready.

  1. Are you more willing to give than to receive?
  2. Does the final answer always have to be what you consider to be right?
  3. Can someone else count on you no matter what happens? A question we always ask to people who say they want to get married is, if your mate were to get sick with cancer, lose all of their hair and could no longer take care of themselves, would you sacrifice to take care of them? Would you clean them if they needed that from you? Would you still love them the same way you did in the perfectly poised state that they are now?
  4. Men, are you ready to be the priest, protector, provider, and leader of your home? Can you take on all of these roles without anger, resentment or even longing for your old life?
  5. Women, are you ready to submit, become the help meet, the supporter of the man placed in your life to fulfill all of the previous roles?
  6. Are you ready to work as a team on whatever needs to get done in your home?
  7. Are you ready to mutually submit to one another on certain decisions that need to take place in your home?
  8. Are you ready to be shaped and molded by your spouse into the image of Christ?
  9. Are you ready to give up some of your friends or people in your life who are not friends of your marriage, but only want your friendship and may even want to tear down your marriage?
  10. Have you prayed to God to prepare you for marriage? Has He answered your prayers? Is He shaping and molding you into the image of Christ? Are there any things that HE is molding that you know you have been fighting against?
  11. Are you ready to be sexually, mutually exclusive with your mate?
  12. Are you ready to work through your relationship even in those times that you would have normally walked away with someone else?

There are many, many others that we could go on and on with, but these are enough for now for you to truly think about.  Many of these people will answer too quickly without even a second thought because you believe that you can. We want you to really think about these so that you can truly prepare yourself for that long term commitment of marriage that you say you want. Marriage, by the way, is much different than a long term relationship. When you’re not married, it is always an option to walk away. However, when you are married our prayer is you will take the option of divorce off the table, so the option to walk away is no longer there? Are you ready to stay even through the tough times?

We told you this series would be nothing but the truth. Hopefully this one has given you food for thought and you want to know more about what marriage looks like behind the scenes so that you can truly prepare yourself for the assignment of marriage.

The Marriage Coaches


 If you stumbled upon this post make sure you check us out at www.themarriagecoaches.net to get more information on marriage help and what it takes to love being married.



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