If you are a child of the 80′s (or an earlier decade) you are probably familiar with a movie called Child’s Play. The movie starts out with a cute little doll named Chucky. His seemingly innocent demeanor dressed in a striped shirt and overalls really turns out to be a nightmare in disguise. Chucky is no sweetheart and thus the deception and violent acts begin leading to a horror movie that had us all cleaning out our toy boxes.
The beginning of the dating process can be a lot like child’s play. You become acquinted with a person by going out with him or her, talking often and even attending church together. These seemingly innocent encounters are great. You put your best face forward and so does your date. Everything is going wonderfully until the real person “Chucky” begins to surface. Chucky starts saying and doing some unlikely things and before you know it, you are asking yourself, “who is this person?’. This scenario is seen on the dating scene over and over again. When the real person shows up around date five, what do you do?
Be practical and realistic in your process of finding the right person. The remedy for ”real” discovery stems from 1 John 4:1 which says: “Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.” (NIV) That tall, dark and handsome guy or that beautiful woman in platform stillettos has a soul that must be evaluated so do not let the smooth appearance fool you. You must look past this in order to discover the person that lies beneath the surface.
Here are a few tips to help you avoid a “Chucky or a Bride of Chucky” situation.
1. Ask open ended questions: people love to engage in conversations about themselves. Ask questions that will allow them to answer openly and without prompts, open ended questions won’t just give you a yes or no, but a detailed one that will allow you to evaluate their answers.
2. Listen: many of us have selective hearing which means we hear what we want to hear. Just because a person talks a good game does not mean you have to take it at face value. Ask yourself, “what are they really saying?”
3. Observe their actions: when a person’s words are genuine, their actions will follow suit. If you are hearing one thing, but their actions are saying otherwise, believe the actions.
Happy Dating
Great article Alexis. I totally agree with your points. We have to get pass the words and pay attention to the actions. I have seen so many people that become so enamored with the words that they overlook the actions. Then they wonder where did ‘Chucky’ come from. He has always been there, but he disguised it with the enticing words. I encourage people to pray and watch. You can’t afford to let the smooth taste (talk) fool you.
I agree with you, Bernard; whole heartedly! LOL @ ‘”Don’t let the smooth taste fool you.”‘
Thanks Bernard, your comment is right on point. Hopefully this is helpful to all readers.
I really enjoyed that article, even the analogy with Chucky and the movie “Child’s Play.” LOL I’m laughing out loud, but in all seriousness, it’s very true. Thanks for the reminder. I’m really glad that I saw that cousin, who is also saved, liked your page on FB. If I hadn’t viewed that, I would have missed out a great newsletter.
Thx!
Tawanda, thank you so much for your comment. Continue to check back for the latest blogs and feel free to share the link on your wall and other media outlet.