I Love Being Married

October 10, 2011

Do You have a Written Vision for your Marriage?

“Then the Lord answered me and said, write the vision…”  Habakkuk 2:2

 I remember our marriage day as if it was yesterday. I will never forget the vows that we consented to that day before God and about three hundred witnesses. We said that we would take this person to be my wife or husband to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, honor and cherish, forsaking all others until we are parted by death as God is our witness, we gave our promise.

 What a day that was! Many of you can attest that when you think back your wedding day was an incredible event. The whole day was special in anticipation of your new future together. This was the beginning of our life long journey together. We were ready for this wonderful experience, so we thought. We were not properly warned about the challenges and how to handle them in marriage. They forgot to tell us the difficulty of bringing two different people with two different backgrounds and mind sets into a marriage with the intentions of becoming one flesh.

Dana and I figured out really quickly that it takes more than having a beautiful wedding, repeating poetic marriage vows, receiving wonderful gifts and boasting a large guest list of family and friends. We realized that it was going to take faith in God, active communication, true commitment, unconditional love and motivated consistency. It has taken all of these and more to make our marriage work.

 We believe, if someone would have told us over fifteen years ago about the importance of having a written marriage vision it would have spared us a lot of confusion and frustration. Three years ago we decided to implement a marriage vision that would affect every area of our life together. So we dedicated quality time in prayer together seeking God’s direction, defining our marriage values and discussing our desires for the future. Today, we have the Haynes Marriage Vision Statement framed and in a prominent place in our home.

Do not get me wrong just because we have a vision statement does not mean everything has happened the way we want it or when we wanted it. We have encountered some tremendous triumphs and some gut wrenching defeats. We have dealt with some great highs and some woeful lows. We have seen some dreams realized and some dreams die. But, we believe that everything we have gone through, currently going through or about to go through we can overcome because we are united by love and led by God’s vision. My advice to any couple that is reading this, please sit down together and begin the process of developing a written marriage vision statement.

Your marriage vision will become your GPS that gives you the correct directions and coordinates to follow. It will empower you with the inspiration and motivation you need to make the right turns to move your marriage forward. Trust me, your marriage vision will expand your thinking, increase your sight and elevate your walk. Get ready to take hold of your marriage vision and impact your world!





  1. Benjamin

    These words are ohhhh, so true. Thank you Bernard for these kind words of direction. I hope that all of the people reading this post will take heed to what knowledge you have given us on the vision of a marriage. It’s priceless. THANK YOU

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